DavezMental’s Blog

It’s funny how people perceive the same things differently….Perceptions vary on all issues in life….sports, music, art, religion, politics, etc…It’s crazy how one person could look at a painting of just scribble…and another person look at it with a tear in their eye because of it’s beauty….or how about those paintings that when you first look at them you see one image, but after a closer look at it you see a totally different picture….

There are two things that made me write about this….The first was Friday night…I decided not to call anyone to go out….I was going to chill at home alone and watch the presidential debates, then get a much needed good night’s sleep. Well, as I mentioned a couple blogs ago, I haven’t really been paying attention to the presidential race and didn’t really know who to vote for….I do think we need to kick the republican party out of office….and for people that disagree, you have to look at the facts….look at how much our country changed for the worse the last 8 years…then again, that is my perception….Although, I believe this, I wouldn’t vote without knowing more details…I really would have to pay attention to whats going on before I made the decision….for example, I’m not one of those people that is gonna vote for one candidate because of his skin color or because of a vice president’s gender….I think that is pretty pathetic….in other words, if you are black and are voting for Obama just because he is black, or if you are a woman and you are voting for McCain just because his VP candidate is a female, I think that is pretty sad…..

In any event, I didn’t know exactly who to vote for, and I did watch Palin’s acceptance speech as well as McCain’s a couple weeks ago and enjoyed the speeches….At one point, I thought they would be my choices….then I spoke to two die hards….One die hard Republican and One die hard Democrat…..you know the ones…the ones, you can’t have a decent conversation with because they only see one-sided….well, the democrat was more convincing and explained the details to me better and yet again swayed my decision back to Barack….

Well, that still wasn’t enough, I had to see more for myself….So, Friday I watched the debates by myself (one of my good friends did the same, and we were texting each other back and forth about what was going on, like a bunch of nerds/old men..but anyways)….I was astonished at watching the after party…or should I say the interviews and opinions of people after the debate….In my eyes…my perception, Obama blew McCain out of the water….I think he outclassed him, and his points were just totally right on….After Friday, Obama got my vote…..and this is coming from a registered Democrat that voted for George Bush last election….I’m man enough to admit, that I didn’t vote for Kerry, but Georgie W. I won’t make that same mistake this election….I’m not going to go into details about what I liked…..but just Obama’s overall views on things from Iraq to the economy to education in my eyes were/are better….As of now, Obama has my vote and I have looking forward to Thursday’s VP debate (as long as it’s not going on during a Phillies’ playoff game)…

The other thing that made me write about perceptions was last weekend….Last weekend it was my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary….Now, I have a hard enough time hanging on to a lady friend for 60 days, let alone even fathoning holding on to one for 60 years!! But anyways, here is what I’m getting into….If you have been reading my blogs, you know that I have a funny grandmother….One, who has a heart of gold, but a mouth that doesn’t keep quiet when it comes to her point of views/perceptions….I love her enough to have her name tatoo’d on my arm, but at the same time she has the ability to drive me (along with everyone else in my family) nuts….I’ll save details for another blog, because my grandmother deserves a whole blog for herself. But here is the thing….my grandmother is very old fashioned when it comes to a lot of things, and one thing she doesn’t go for is change and outside-the-box thinking….and if you do, you find out how wrong you are, because she will tell you….anyways, last year, the last two of her three children followed their other sibling out west….my mom moved to Arizona and my uncle to Seattle….they did this for the pursuit of their own happiness and change….everyone that knows them was extremely happy for them except one person….yes, grandma….I’m going to save the details, but my grandmother refuses to do anything that involves leaving her house….she lives for her home….this is a lady that cleans 6-7 days a week 6-8 hours a day….and she will not change…..having fun and going away is really frowned upon…shoot, I caught hell for not working this summer, imagine that…

We all know how grandma is, and yes, make fun of her for it and try to change her, but at 82 years old it isn’t happening….So, my grandparent’s 60th wedding anniversary was this year, and like their 50th, their children wanted to take them on a trip….Disney, Vegas, an Alaskan Cruise, Caribbean Cruise, etc….whatever they wanted…..now my grandfather would do anything, but instead of saying so, he does whatever my grandmother wants….that is good for another blog in itself as well(and part of the reason why I fear marriage and committment)watching the abuse he takes isn’t good for my health…lol…actually, watching it reassures the fact that I will never settle…anyways…..Grandma wanted her kids to come home to Jersey and take her out to dinner….that was it…..everybody in the family, including myself thought she was nuts….why would she do such a thing…..she is retired, she should be seeing the world, enjoying her life…why does she refuse to leave her home??

Well, it hit me….we perceived my grandmother as this stubborn lady, who was selfish in regards to my grandfather because she could have went anywhere he/they wanted, but instead refused and stayed home…..we were wrong…this whole time, she just wanted what once was….her kids in her home…..the same kids that left Jersey because “who would want to live there!” had to come back….and for the first time in 3 years, and only the second time in eleven years, all her kids were back to the place where they were raised….my grandma made everyone go to church with her…..and as my one aunt said mockingly, for a “show-and-tell”…..Well, all we had to do as her kids, was look past our perceptions and view my grandmother’s and you will see how beautiful the time spent as a family in New Jersey was….Last Wednesday-Sunday was a great time….and for my grandmother, the lady of the hour, better than any cruise…..hey, home is where the heart is, right?? For once, I wish everyone perceived things the way grandma does…

Lastly, on September 11th, I was bored….the whole day didn’t seem like other 9-11’s….maybe that was a good thing, maybe it was a bad thing….I went to work, not much was said about the day (again either good or bad)…I got home, and usually on this day, I am glued to the television and/or reading a newspaper looking at pictures, documentaries, etc of what happened in 2001….this year I didn’t, nor did I want to get myself in a gloomy mood….In fact, I wasn’t in the mood to do anything…sleep, read, work, workout, watch a dvd, go out….nothing…but for whatever reason I hopped online….and began googling random things…..I was racking my brain for interesting things to come up with and google….I even got to the point of thinking of people from the past….I eventually googled an old friend….someone whose past relationship, scratch that, past friendship I cherish….

I googled this person, who in my heart-of-hearts, from time-to-time I believe still reads my blogs….well, this is a person, whom I basically forgot about, but yet the memory of them, when I think of them every now and then, brings a smile to my face….this is a person who I got really close with in a short period of time, but had to leave for various reasons…a quote from Bon Jovi’s song, Wild is the Wind, hopefully puts things into perspective, especially since I never did share my true feelings for this person with them,

“I couldn’t be the one to make your dreams come true/
that’s why I had to run/ though I needed you”

While I left this person to take care of things (because it was the right thing to do), this person found someone to sweep them off their feet…selfishly, I let that bother me at first (for about a week), but as time went by, I realized it was the best thing for this person, and I’ve grown to appreciate that our time spent together led to this person’s finding of true happiness….

On September Eleventh, I came across this person’s bridal registry….and the picture I saw of this person, and the glow on their face made it all worth it….What do I mean by “all,” our time spent together, the pain of losing this person, and the stumbling of me on the registry….all I want to tell this person, if they are reading is that, it was all about your happiness….all I wanted to do was make you happy….I see you have true happiness, and that makes me feel good…even if it wasn’t me that made you happy….I almost called you a year ago, to tell you that I wanted your friendship back and that I accepted the fact, that I wasn’t the “one” for you, but didn’t…I figured it was best to just let things be…just know, that I do cherish our time together, and in my eyes, you are one of the most amazing people I ever met…your strength/story is a true inspiration for me….I never saw you as a “suicidal freak” and I hope you know this….you will always have a place in my heart….good luck next month….hope you have the storybook ending you deserve….

I was gonna send you a gift on your wedding day, but wasn’t sure if that was such a good idea, so instead I dedicate this blog to you….especially since you told me that I should write….Lots of luck with your JD

Love,

DD